Wild

I was in the mountains outside of Ely on hitch last week and I went on a walk just before the sun set.  I needed to get away from everyone and usually being alone in nature does the trick.  But this time was different.  The sun started to go down and suddenly I felt more eerily alone then I have ever felt in my entire life.  There were probably very few people in that 50 mile radius that surrounded me.  Instead of feeling amazed and bewildered, I just felt terrified.  This isn't the type of woods you go on vacation in, and feel like you are secluded when really there is a house 30 feet away.  This is the wild.  You are on your own, not even cell phones can save you out here.  At that moment I was completely alone in these mountains and in this world as far as I was concerned.  I so desperately needed to go home and be comforted by my friends and family but alas, I had no home and I was trapped out in the mountains for 6 more days with 9 people who still felt like strangers.  That's when I realized that I need people.  I need civilization.  I can't survive alone in the wilderness like I always hoped I could.  And I no longer want to.  I am okay with needing people, and a home, and maybe even a blender wouldn't be so bad.

So now I am completely lost about what I want out of life.  I need to do it all.  Travel the country, travel the world, explore anything and everything.  But I also want a home, a place I can go back to at the end of a day or a trip.  People that understand me to share these experiences with.  Being homeless is lonely.  I think it's less about that home and more about the people that make me feel at home.  I only 2 months left here in Nevada before I have to choose what's most important to me again.  Comfort or excitement.  I am applying for peace corps, and have decided I am no longer going to let my morbid fear of everyone I love dying while I am gone hold me back from applying anymore.  I love my job now, going out and seeing amazing places that I would otherwise never even know exist.  But I'm having a hard time making it through the summer.  The last month we have been driving around closing illegal roads, or 'maintaining wilderness boundaries'.  It has it's reasons for needing to be done but it is hard to motivate my crew with this type of work when I barely believe in what we are doing.  I need to do something that more directly helps people, and the environment in the long run.  Something that I believe in fully.  Not to say negative things about this job, because I believe in building trails all day every day.  I am happy to have gained all the experience that I did from the last year, but even more excited to move on to a new place and new experience.       

Old Rangers house we worked on

 

 

Crazy shoe tree on the loneliest road in America

Already got a flat... luckily I am now a pro at changing tires

What Happened in Vegas.

I found something today that I wrote two years ago....  'I don't think this is what I am meant to be doing, but I don't dare step off the path.'  This was when I was applying for office jobs and thinking about how miserable my future work life would most likely be.  I realize that I have come closer to stepping off of that path, and now there is no turning back. 

Today ended my last hitch in Vegas before the summer season starts.  In a few days I am going up to Reno for orientation and the next week heading to Ely where I will be based for the summer.  Camping at a KOA on my off days.  I have never stayed at a KOA or lived in a small Western town and the curiosity is starting to set in.  I am less sad to leave Vegas than I would be a normal place, but I'm starting to think I might actually miss it when I'm gone.  Oh, Vegas.  And did I mention sister Nancy will be living in Great Basin National Park only about an hour away from me!!

Last week on my 6 days off a couple friends and I went to Arizona to do some camping.  We stopped at Sedona on the way to do a a few hikes.  It was beautiful there, and kind of looked like a combination of Zion, Utah and Red Rock.  That night we kept driving over to Fossil Creek where there was one of the clearest creeks I've ever seen and it almost looked tropical in the middle of the desert.  We heard there was a waterfall a short hike in the you can jump from, and I FINALLY GOT TO FULFILL MY DREAM OF JUMPING FROM A WATERFALL.  Unfortunately later I saw that skinny dip under a waterfall is on my bucket list and I missed out on that.  Fun adventure getting in to this place though.  We had to drive down a 14 mile windy dirt road to get to the place we wanted to camp, and going at about 15 miles per hour this was a lot longer than it sounds.  My friend Tony who was driving us realized that his truck problems were worse than we thought.  Halfway down this road we discovered that the battery was actually dying, and if the truck was turned off it probably would not turn back on.  The headlights faded and eventually went out but luckily we all had headlamps that we held out the window as a mock headlight.  This was pretty terrifying considering we were winding around sharp turns with almost cliffs going off the edge.  Smart as we are, we decided to keep driving and drop the others off to camp so then he could drive back out and park on the road until a mechanic opened the next day.  We were about three miles from the camping spot when the battery completely died.  We were all ready to sleep on the road and pay a million dollars to get towed out when by some miracle we realized that Tony had a battery in the back for a sleep apnea and although it was a different size we were able to rig up some crazy system to hold it in place.  Surprisingly it worked perfectly and we were able to successfully able to get all the way to a mechanics the next day about an hour and a half drive away.  It was pretty funny looking back on it.  After the truck was fixed we drove to Flagstaff which was on the way home.  Flagstaff is thee coolest town.  It's super local and you can walk everywhere and there are coffee shops and breweries everywhere.  Coming from a city like Vegas I have become obsessed with towns like this.  We went out that night (which felt a lot like Iowa City) and then slept in my friends friends backyard which was actually their neighbors backyard and woke up with a strangers dog trying to get into the tent.   

The last two 8-day hitches have been in Reno which is awesome, but kind of strange since it's an eight hour drive and we spend almost the entire first and last day of hitch driving.  Reno is cool, there are rolling hills and tall trees everywhere and snowed both times we were there.  On the last day of hitch we finished early and got to go to Lake Tahoe for the first time.  IT IS FREAKING BEAUTIFUL.  I think it's the snowy mountains and trees surrounding the perfectly clear lake so closely.  I almost cried thinking about having to leave.  Luckily I will be back over the summer at least a few times.  That's about it for now, who knows if I will find internet later when I am living homelessly.    

Parents Weekend

 Wow it has been a very long time! I keep logging on and planning on posting and then getting distracted by my slow computer, so my bad.  The last 2 months have been a pretty great experience, I started leadership training with 11 other future crew leaders who are all the coolest people ever.  It's awesome hanging out with people who are super motivated and eager to learn and with a leader who really cares about our improvements and wants to help us as much as she can.  Now I only have about one more month of training and then I will be getting my own crew for the summer.  I was placed in Ely, Nevada for the summer where I will be working with just one other crew and most likely camping for free on our off time.  I was not expecting that but living in small town Nevada should be an interesting experience.  Peace out Vegas.  Oh and any ideas for activities to do in an old western mountain town on my free time would be greatly appreciated.

Last week my parentals came out to visit me and it was nice to be reunited and to show them around a place that they had never been.  We ended up getting tired of the Vegas thing and went to Zion National Park in Utah for 2 nights.  We did a couple awesome hikes, one of which led to a small canyon with a waterfall at the end and river flowing through it.  In order to see the waterfall we had to go through several pools of at least waist deep water (which was 45 ish degrees).  We finally decided to go all in after getting whipped by my mother throwing a stick at my leg in her effort to help, and her falling in before she was ready (KARMA).  It was pretty amazing to see the geology of this place and how much the water of the flooding river created the canyons.  The next morning we did the hike called Angel's Landing where I found out that both of my parents are extremely afraid of heights.  In their defense something like 8 people died on this hike and it is a little scary.  The last night we came back to Vegas and explored around here and then my mom lost some money gambling and was forced to deal with her addiction.  After what felt like weeks of them being here (jk) they finally went home and left me on my lonesome again, but it was awesome having them here.  

Freezing pools leading to waterfall at the end of Subway Canyon

Zion

 

Since the end of my time here is nearing I have been looking for new jobs, and the idea of not getting to go out into the middle of the wilderness everyday and camp more often than not sounds very depressing.  For as much as I hate the dry heat, and lack of trees and grass in Southern Nevada I feel tied to it.  Something here is pulling me back to the wild and to our ancestors and won't let me go.  I am drawn to the West and intrigued by it too much to leave yet and I think finding the beauty in things that are not immediately beautiful to the eyes has taught me so much.  We were driving for hours down a dirt road into the middle of the desert last week and I was reminded of how incredible the openness and vastness is out here is.  It is amazingly easy to disappear from society and when you do how connected you feel with everything that is part of the earth.  Also everyone should read this amazing Wilderness Letter from Wallace Stegner... so good!
http://wilderness.org/bios/former-council-members/wallace-stegner.

La Jolla, California

San Diego, which of course in Germany means a whale's vagina

It decided to snow/hail during chainsaw training

Californication

The last few weeks have flyin by and we are finally mixing it up tomorrow!  I can't believe I have been here for 6 months already.  CRAZY.  I find it weird how normal it has become to go camping every week for work and then go home and sleep on what can barely pass for a bed.  I love it (although after watching a movie involving a bed I have been craving that luxury.)  My final hitches with Crew No Love have been pretty enjoyable and I am actually sad to be splitting up.  We had a week of illegal road decommissioning, a week of fixing a cemented trail for the handicapped at Desert National Wildlife Refuge, and a week of boating around Lake Mead and pulling invasive species.  It was fun to be boating and staying in Arizona (even with the confusing time difference) but pulling weeds can get prettay tedious.  It's starting to get warmer here - mid 70's during the day, and I am getting very nervous for the summer heat.  Ooh also, I started rock climbing more at Red Rock with the help of some friends, and it is the greatest thing ever.  I could hang out there every day and never get tired of it.

Finally tried out the poo bag method

Old corral we slept in on hitch

Red Rock

Seals covering the beach

This weekend we had 4 days off because of the holiday (which holiday?) so we decided to take a roadtrip to Big Sur in Central California.  It is BEAUtiful.  The air was fresh and smelled like pine trees and the ocean and it was SO GREEN EVERYWHERE.  Oh how I miss the color green and moss and the woods.  Due to our lack of planning every campsite was booked but we were able to find a place that camping was allowed up this windy road in the forest overlooking the ocean the first night.  The next day we went to this beach with purple sand and cliffs all around and apparently we were the only crazy enough people to go swimming in the freezing water.  I still think it was warmer than the ocean in New Hampshire, even in February.  After searching again for campsites and them still all being booked we decided our best bet was a 10 mile hike to a river and hot springs where camping was allowed.  With our late start we had to hike the last 5 miles in the dark and then since we were unable to find a path due to our lack of vision we crossed the river at least 5 times to get around cliffs and find a flat spot to sleep.  We eventually found a tiny spot to squish in which wasn't too far of a scramble from the hot springs.  Apparently it is a thing for people to travel all over going to hot springs and I think I will add that to my list of things to do.  The next morning we hiked the 10 miles out and struggled back to the car.  On our way home driving down Highway 1 there were a bunch of places where sea lions and elephant seals were all beached and lounging around.  They are the strangest and most adorable creatures.  We ended up getting home around 4am this morning but it was definitely an amazing trip and it was super refreshing to get out of the desert.  

Sunset over Pacific Ocean

 

 

 

Hike to hot springs at Sykes

Crank That

Hey yall, I haven't written in here for a while so I figure I should get back on it.  Last week my crew went to the Virgin River to do some chainsawing of tamarisk trees.  It was my first chainsaw hitch since training and as much as I love trees I REALLY love killing them. Just kidding.  But these trees are invasive and taking over the willows that this bird the Southwest Willow Flycatcher (I think I mentioned in another post) needs to survive which helps with my guilt of cutting down so many trees.  Also tamarisks are evil so there's that.  Aside from learning how to start the chainsaw while standing up (... it's a very powerful feeling), the best part of this hitch was camping on beautiful soft sand along the river and watching the full moon rise over the mountains.  Perfect.  The downside to the river was having to cross it every morning to get to the work site.  It was painfully cold and most days we woke up with frost on our tents and then had to take our shoes off and brace the freezing water.  I may or may not have cried one day.  And I normally like cold water so it must have been treacherous.  But we are going back tomorrow and then I can fill you in on an another exciting week if I make it through!

On another note, I only have less than a month left with Crew No Love before we are split up :(.  Crew leader training starts in February and I have never been so excited to grow myself! (haha)  Amanda, the lady in charge of training is super cool and filled with knowledge and really seems to get people.  I think it'll be a great experience to work with her.  Knowing that we will have 3 months of training to become a leader has helped me to embrace my flaws/problems (too many) and actually think about them as a chance for growth and bettering myself (who knew)  I can't wait!  Well that about sums up the last few months of my life.  Moo.

A Strange Feeling

There have been several times in my life when I thought I was going to die.  Once I took a bad wipe out on skis and couldn’t get up.  Another time I was trapped under a wave and thought I might drown down there.  But this time was different.  This time I knew I was going to die.  Or at least I thought I did.  It was everything that I had nightmares about.  The weird kind of nightmare where I realize what’s happening and as my body thrashes around the car I feel a sense of peace with the fact that I am going to die.  This obviously comes with the lack of time to think about and understand what dying actually means in this instance.  At least I hope so.  Because as our car slid across the ice and slammed 60 miles per hour into a cement wall I felt exactly the way I did in my dream.   And the thing that scared me the most was my state of serenity in a situation that would normally get my heart racing just thinking about.  When the car finally stopped after what felt like an eternity of ping ponging from wall to wall, I realized that by some miracle we were all still alive.  I climbed out of the driver’s side door, the only door that still opened and stood watching a few nice civilians help my friend Jessica out of the back seat.  I don’t know if it was due to hitting my head so hard or the shock of something like this actually happening, but I collapsed on the side of the road and the next thing I knew I was being carried to the police car and then put on a stretcher to be taken to the hospital via ambulance.

I know accidents happen to people all the time and my friends and I are terribly lucky to be alive and barely injured.  But for a couple seconds I thought my friend was dead, and I can’t stop thinking about how horribly heartbreaking  and life changing it would be to lose a loved one with you in that car.  And it blows my mind how we hit the walls at the exact right angle to survive and how Jessica had her feet on the seat which prevented her legs from being crushed and how no other cars were around to get involved.  Why were we so lucky when so many other people are not?   We were blessed to have experienced such a situation that reminded us to appreciate the ones we love and to really live our lives because we are all granted the chance to do so.   

Nature is Neat

By the time we got even close to the Grand Canyon on Tuesday it was snowing and dark and the people at the resort we stopped at to use the bathroom looked at us hopelessly and told us we were crazy.  We had planned on camping in the park that day but with the late start that we got we decided to just find a place on public land to stay the night and go to the park in the morning.  After an amazingly huge grey owl almost flew into my windshield followed by me almost running it over as it sat in the middle of the road looking for mice, we finally found a dirt road that looked promising.  I drove down it for a few miles and found an outhouse and a little area that looked campable.  At this point there was actually snow accumulating on the ground so we made a fire, drank our coldness away and Lindsay, Matt and I slept in the back of my car while Sung slept outside in just his sleeping bag (his choice).

Snow at the top of the North Rim.

The next morning we were just planning on winging it so we went to the back-country office to see what someone could tell us.  The guy working was super helpful and due to the government shutdown and lack of visitors on the North Rim side of the Grand Canyon at this time of year we were able to get a back-country camping permit for 2 nights at the sites we wanted without having to wait.  That day we hiked 14.2 miles down to the bottom where the Colorado river ran through.  It was so beautiful and much of it literally took my breath away.  It was amazing to see the drastic changes in rock color/texture and flora and fauna as the elevation decreased.  We hiked down 6,000 feet total!  It took longer than expected however, and the last 2 or 3 miles we ended up walking in the dark with headlamps.  At the time it felt torturous; we had been hiking all day and had no idea how much longer until we reached the site.  Looking back it was kind of fun hiking in the dark, and even more exciting is waking up and seeing your surroundings for the first time in daylight.

I woke up on a patch of sand next to a creek, and my first sight upon waking up was a mule deer across from me and endless cliffs going up to the sky.  We were only hiking 7 miles back up to the other camp ground this day so we spend a few hours exploring and walked to the Colorado River.  It was beautifully relaxing and almost felt like an exotic ocean.  Apparently only 1% of people who visit the Grand Canyon actually go to the bottom and it was cool that everyone around was just as excited as us and intrigued enough to experience it from the inside. 

     
Before we left to hike back up we weighed our packs on the scales at the bottom that are meant for the people who pay mules to carry their belongings.  My pack was 35 pounds, Lindsay's was 32, and Matt's was 50.  (To have a mule carry your bag it had to be under 30 pounds.)  We had divided Sungs gear up so that he wouldn't have to carry as much with a bad knee.  It was nice to have a heavy excuse for being so ridiculously sore that morning.  One of the best parts of the hike was just talking to everyone that we passed and hearing about their backpacking experiences.  The whole hike was serene and beautiful, being surrounded by so few people and so much wildlife.  It made me want to go on more harder and longer backpacking trips and just meet people and explore the rest of my life.  Who needs money or a job.